Raising Resilient Children 

 August 25, 2020

By  Toyin Oboh

Understanding the concept of resilience may seem like a feat, especially in this part of the world where the word is often extended to mean “persistence”. Yes, the two words can be related, but they do not necessarily mean the same thing. Resilience is simply put, the ability to bounce back.

When life throws you on your back over and over again, when the twists and turns confuse you, when challenges scare you to the bones, resilience is the ability to withstand the pain, recover, and forge ahead. Being resilient needs a level of persistence, of course, but oftentimes persistence can yield the desired result without the need for resilience.

Think of a child who keeps disturbing her mum for biscuits, and the mum gives in just so the child can leave her. That there, is persistence, with no need for resilience on the part of the child.

As parents, it is indisputably important that we raise resilient children. We all understand that life is a constant race. Not just any kind of race, but the hurdles. Everyone, adult or child, will have to face these hurdles. And remember that the hurdles may come in different shapes and sizes. Some easy to overcome, others throwing us flat on our back and making it seem like all hope is lost.

Unfortunately many have lost out on dreams by giving in to the hurdles of life. A whole lot. But our job as parents lies in making our little ones understand that hurdles are a temporary barrier.

Everyone faces them, and everyone can overcome them because there is always a way around them. That way lies in resilience.

Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, workplace, and financial stress. These events are undeniably painful and difficult, but they should never determine the outcome of your life. Resilience helps you to grow in the face of these challenges.

There are four components to building a habit of resilience in our children:

  1. Connection
  2. Wellness
  3. Healthy Thinking
  4. Meaning/Purpose

Our children must learn to prioritize relationships. In life, they will learn that they are not alone, and everyone faces one hurdle or the other. Connecting with the right people will help them remain focused. Finding trustworthy and compassionate people who will urge them on even when all is crumbling down, will go a great deal in helping build their resilience.

The age-long saying, “Health is Wealth” never gets old. Our children must learn to take care of their bodies. Self-care helps to boost mental health, which ultimately boosts resilience. Positive lifestyles like proper nutrition, balanced rest, and regular exercise go a long way in giving one strength to be resilient.

Healthy Thinking
Thoughts are powerful. Our children must learn to run away from negative thoughts. It pays to think healthy. Their minds should as much as possible revolve around uplifting things. Remember the mind is the source of all things, so they must learn to guard it and fill it up with uplifting thoughts. This will help them become more resilient.

Our children must find a meaning or purpose to their lives. It is very important this is discovered dry early in life. When they know where they are headed, trust me, no hurdle can stand in their way. The strong desire to achieve the laid out dreams will equip them with the resilience needed for the journey to a glorious achievement.

To draw to a close, it is important that our children understand that they are never alone. NEVER. Everyone has got hurdles to face in life. But success will only come to those who can BOUNCE BACK when life throws these hurdles their way.

Toyin Oboh

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